Please, don’t get me wrong. There are some delightfully wonderful morons out there. I even have some that I would call dear friends. These are the friends that call you at all hours of the night with questions like:
“I’m not sure where I am. Can you come pick me up?”
“I met someone who knows you, but they couldn’t remember your name.”
And my all time favorite question:
“Can you pay for this? I forgot my credit card and only have cash.”
Yes, these are all real questions that have been posed to me and, with love; I explained to them the simple error of their ways.
“How can I pick you up if you don’t know where you are?”
“Do you remember their name?”
“I believe they still accept cash at most gas stations”
I do adore my moron friends. They are darling people, very confused, but enchanting all the same and you need people like this in your life to feel better about your intelligence.
And then there are the evil and horrible morons that sneak into your life and you have no control over where and how they enter your world: Coworkers, family members, the general public. These are all points of entry that can cause angry and frustration in your life. You know the people who I’m talking about.
I work with a girl who I wonder everyday how she actually found someone to marry her and then breed with her to create a mini army of morons that might also one day breed with another human and begin taking over the world. You wonder how someone who can never remember a password, can not remember simple tasks, and the worst off all the symptoms of this annoying condition, constantly talks to herself about nothing important at all. I believe the Stupids talk to themselves because they forget that there are other people around them. Public situations are very confusing.
My question to the world is: Am I the only one that has noticed that morons are taking over the world? I am not talking about politicians or celebrities. Both are just assumed. I am talking about the little worker bee’s of the world. I am convinced that there are so many smart and talented people out of work because the companies of the world can hose the morons with low salaries and silly perks. (We won’t provide health insurance but here’s a free health club membership. It’s just like health insurance but better (wink, wink).)
I think it’s time for people to take a stand against these evil morons teaching our children (you know your child has seen their teacher on Facebook taking body shots with quotes like “SPRING BREAK!!!! I hope none of my students see this!!!”), corporate morons leading our industries, and those in general public that try to Rollerblade through McDonald’s drive thru when all you really want is a nice shamrock shake for breakfast. Please band together with me to make snide remarks to the evil morons in your life. Trust me, they will never catch on that the remark was towards them so you should be safe but if you get fired, punched or shot, don’t blame me.